1:35 P.M.

Just found out that Disney is creating a new Mickey Mouse series with racecars. Questioning why I am so excited by this news.

12:40 P.M.

Make lunch. 2MO is still sleeping. Enjoying the few moments of having two free hands. Questioning why mankind hasn't evolved to have four hands.

Noon

Pack 2D and 2MO into the car to go to Fresh Thyme to get cheap raspberries. Tell 2D she can get a sucker to keep her happy. Pick short line, lady at register pays with check. Line takes longest of all. Question who still pays with checks. Question what I would be doing if I wasn't standing in line to pay (answer: watching the second hand on the clock).

10:35 A.M.

Change 2MO again. Before I could even pick him up from his last changing, he needs another one. Question what I used to do with all of my free time. Question what people without young kids do with all of their time.

10:30 A.M.

Change 2MO. How could a baby have that much in one diaper?

10 A.M.

Feed 2MO for the second time, burp him, put him down. Move kids' table from 2D's bedroom to living room. Move chairs. Question how anyone has a tiny house. Question why my home feels so tiny. Consider hiring a moving van to take all of my stuff to Goodwill.

8:30 A.M.

Watch clock for about 5 seconds to confirm second hand actually is not moving backwards. Look surprised when it does move the proper direction. Question how that was only 5 seconds.

7:15 A.M.

Say goodbye to WW and KS as they leave for work/school. Pray sleeping 2 Month Old (2MO) keeps sleeping for awhile.

6:45 A.M.

2D is awake. Cry.

6:00 A.M.

Get woken up. Say Good Morning to Working Wife (WW). Say hello to Kindergarten Son (KS) who has already been up for 15 minutes for God-only-knows what reason. Wash face, prepare for day. Begin praying 2 year old daughter (2D) doesn't wake up for a few hours.